Polygamy in China

By Confucian standars, the family was the most important unit of society. Continuation of the family was vital and therefore the production of male children was a necessity. The birth of a son or grandson was the most desired event in any Chinese household and the prime purpose of marriage.

Marriages were arranged by families as soon as their male children were considered of age. Love nor courtship were important. It was a man's first duty to marry when his parents decided it was time for him to carry out his duties to the family and its ancestors. It was also his sacred duty to his ancestors and also to himself to produce male children who would continue the sacrifices in the ancestral hall. If no sons were born, the results would be desatrous for the family. This consideration constituted the most powerful motive for the polygamic family system that prevailed in China till recent years. If one wife failed to bear male children, others had to be at hand who would give birth to one or more sons.

A normal man would have one wife and several concubines. A midclass householder for instance could have three to four, upper middle class six to twelve and nobility, generals and princes could have 30 or more wives and concubines. Each woman had her appointed place in the household hierarchy. The maids obeyed the concubines, the concubines the wives, the wives the principal wives, and all the First Lady, the principal wife of the father, or if she died, the principal wife of the eldest son. In this inside world hidden from the outside, a man was expected to divide his time between the different women.

Though it might seem like a dream, a harem was not just fun. Wives and concubines in China had a definite status and vested individual rights. A man had to respect these rights and fulfill his many duties to his womenfolk to keep them satisfied; supporting them economically, mentally, giving sexual satisfaction and personal affection. If a householder did not succeed in any of these, his household could become unstable. And failure to maintain a harmonious household could ruin a man’s reputation and break his career.

With all these regulations, Chinese men craved for less regulated relationships. One option open was homosexuality. Homosexuality was a form of love and sexuality not bound by rules and regulations. For both men and women homosexuality was an accepted form of love, given it would not interfere with heterosexual relations. Another option not bound by family rules were the courtesans. Both of them not belonging to the inner realms of the Confucianist family unit, they were outside the reach of Confucianist ideas, rules and regulations.